The Integrated Mompreneur: Embracing Your Wholeness - Not Hiding Your Life

The Integrated Mompreneur: Embracing Your Wholeness - Not Hiding Your Life

There’s a persistent double standard that plagues female entrepreneurs who are moms: the tendency for your motherhood to be weaponized against you. Assumptions are made about the seriousness of your business itself, your commitment to it and your overall ambition. These assumptions are based on faulty logic that says things like:

• a mother is a mother first, and an entrepreneur second
• she is incapable of prioritizing her business due to the demands of her "real" job as a mother
• her focus is split among her roles, precluding her from being a "serious" business person

While there’s an underlying belief that mom entrepreneurs are incapable of being both a parent and a professional, no such assumptions exist for fathers who are entrepreneurs. There is no word equivalent to "mompreneur" for fathers; in fact, their status as dads enhances their professional image, allowing them to be regarded as more stable, more highly motivated and better providers.

That double standard puts pressure on you to somehow prove your level of commitment by minimizing the visibility of your caregiving role by failing to mention - or apologizing for - situations (like a sick child, school pickup or a summer without childcare) in which that role becomes visible when you’re supposed to be wearing your professional hat. The unfair divide between the genders when it comes to parenting as a professional can cause you to be regarded as less capable, when in fact the real issue is that men get the benefit of the doubt.

It’s tempting to cope with this untenable situation by buying into the myth of "having it all," referring to the impossible standard of seamlessly excelling in every domain simultaneously - which is exhausting and unattainable. You end up feeling burned out, dissatisfied and like a failure - when that is the farthest thing from the truth. The key to dealing with the baggage that is part and parcel of the role of mompreneur is to take charge of your own narrative and seek balance by integrating these two significant parts of your life.

Two ways to manage the imbalance of perception

There are two equally valid ways to effectively manage this identity conflict: go all in on the "mompreneur" persona or reject the concept entirely. In the first, you embrace the duality of concurrent roles and use the identity to connect with a customer base of fellow parents through shared experience. In the other scenario, you adopt the role in the same way a father would, drawing no distinction between your personal and professional identities. Whichever way you choose, the important element is that you have made a deliberate choice in how to handle the reality of the existing double standard based upon how you want to conduct yourself as an entrepreneur who is a mother.

Managing when roles intersect

Effectively balancing what can often be conflicting - or at least intersecting - roles calls for a few key strategies:

Refrain from apologizing for accommodations you make to run your business as a mompreneur. Simply state the necessary shift in schedule, rearrangement of events and establishment of boundaries as fact when family needs supersede your professional operations. There’s no need for apologies or explanation - it’s simply the way your business is structured.

Leverage your mom skills. The role of mother affords the opportunity for on-the-job training in skills valuable in the entrepreneurial realm like ruthless prioritization, calm crisis management, negotiating with limited resources and adapting quickly with grace. Own those skills and point them out as unique assets gained through motherhood.

Seek out communities that value and support your dual role. When those around you consider motherhood and professional seriousness as both compatible and integrable rather than opposing forces, your mompreneur superpower can operate at its strongest and most effective level.

Be strategically flexible in the way you describe yourself professionally. Some audiences will enthusiastically embrace your mompreneur identity; others, less so. Know when it’s more appropriate to mention and when it’s better to lead with other assets like your expertise, credentials and results so the version of yourself you present serves you best.

Successful mompreneurs strike a balance

As a mompreneur, you have a lot going for you; there’s strength and fire in your willingness to take on such powerful roles at the same time in a landscape that seems destined to punish you with a sense of shame for trying to compete in the business world. The most prudent course for a professional mom is to be intentional about integrating the two parts into one cohesive, flexible life that embraces the best of both while admitting there’s no such thing as "having it all" for women or for men, for that matter.

How do you navigate being seen as both a capable business owner and a present parent - and what’s helped you feel less like you have to choose?